I just spent the entire morning constructing a well worded, incredibly heartfelt blog post only to have the webpage reload when I pressed save. It's gone! Seriously!
Luckily I have been prepared to have my work disappear from a young age. When I was around 10 my mom bought me this Zen tablet where I could create art with a brush using water as my "ink" when the water dried the art disappeared. Well....thanks for the preparation Mom. I'm only half crushed.
Apparently the topic of this morning's blog post was for me only. I did come to some conclusions I hadn't previously made & manage to learn something about myself so all is not lost. Maybe one day I'll be able to share that information with everyone. Not today.
My word for 2018 is communication. It has become increasingly obvious that I need to work on my communication skills and I also need to accept information communicated to me with a little less judgement (ok a lot less) and a little more grace. Lesson 1: Save your work! [pause while I follow this advice].
I'm a fixer and a healer and, while my intentions are pure, I've come to realize that I'm going about this all wrong. When I try to "fix it" I am being incredibly selfish. What is actually happening is I am forcing MY need to help on someone else. This is not to say that I should just disconnect and stop trying to be helpful. I just have to reframe what is helpful. Let's take, for instance, a friend or family member's illness. I totally geek out on natural remedies, plant medicine, aromatherapy and other holistic forms of healing. That information is valid and useful. What is not useful is me shoving that information down the throat of my loved one who is experiencing illness.
The realization I reached today, thanks to my disappearing blog post, is that the only way I can truly be of service to those around me who are in need is to BE PRESENT. If you are sick, I need to approach the situation ready to listen to your needs, be supportive in the way that you tell me is best for you, and to detach from the outcome. Wait, what? Detach from the outcome--so now I just don't care what happens to you?! Harsh!
That's not what detachment means. I'm not supposed to become a heartless b*tch. I'm supposed to give you your struggle back. It isn't for me to take over. It isn't for me to direct the outcome. It is simply for me to lend support where are how I can.
This is big stuff right here!
Now, back to communication--in taking this new approach of being present, I'm a bit lost in how to communicate what I know or am learning, that might be helpful to others. Especially when it comes to social media: What is relevant? What is useful? Who cares?
I don't know the answer yet. I do know that I need to give a voice to the little thoughts and musings in my head and my heart. I do know that I need to be authentic in my sharing. Life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. I have to be willing to let the universe see that.
Being still and quiet has helped me tons with being able to hear the small voice inside me. Meditation is helping me turn up the volume of that little voice. Now, I'm feeling that there are tiny truths that I must share in order to keep moving in the right direction. Sometimes I need to share those truths with one person or just a handful of people. Sometimes I need to share those with the universe. I'm working on knowing the difference. I'm also working on having the self confidence to speak my truth to whomever the audience may be.
It is increasingly evident to me that communication is a big part of my health. I need to share my emotions and thoughts. I need to understand those around me. This not only benefits me emotionally and spiritually but physically too. No more internalizing thoughts and feelings that need to be let out. Let them out and then let them go. Free my body of the ill effects of worry, fear, self loathing, and obsessing about past experiences. How much space will that open up for joy, harmony, happiness and health? I'm going to find out! I'll let you know.
Like every other change I am making right now, this isn't just flipping a switch and checking it off my list. This is changing habits created over a lifetime. That's hard work. I will have to recommit to this task regularly. When I need to change my thought patterns, I go to some of the skills I've been developing recently: meditation, EFT, aromatherapy and Reiki. I'm all about having tools in my tool box! Right now, I use aromatherapy to help shift my perspective & raise my vibration. I use EFT to work through persistent negative emotions that I just can't seem to let go of. [This one is new to me and I'm loving it. I have a link on the My Recommendations page to more information about these modalities. Check it out if you are so inclined.
Here is to enhanced communication, coming from a place of love, being true to myself, and compassionate to others.
Big Love y'all!